Dear Internet…Please Stop With The Mummy shaming

Something I extremely hate (yes … Hate, I know it is such a strong word) is mum shaming other mums. In this era of social media it made it so easy to not only judge others but also voice your opinion in such rude manners.

I haven’t personally faced it however I witnessed it so many times in different platforms even on mummy forums and it is disgusting. Here are the topics the I have noticed lead to a lot of judgement and mummy shaming.

stop-cover

Breastfeeding and bottle-feeding

This has been a topic of debate for a very long time. Unfortunately there is no winning. Mothers who bottle feed their babies maybe subjected to mum shaming and any viral photo or post on bottle feeding I can assure you that some mom on the comment section will mention “Breast is best”.

On the other hand if a mum posts a photo of her breastfeeding her baby she might get backlash for publicizing something that according to some mothers should be private, especially some Muslim mothers. A few months ago a famous Muslim Blogger and Youtuber Dina Torkia posted a photo of herself breastfeeding her daughter on Instagram and received a huge amount of criticism even though she was fully covered and her skin wasn’t even showing.

A mother who extensively breastfeeds her child past toddlerhood gets not only criticism but also all kind of profanity and rude comments on her post and got even interviewed on national television because of what people think is bizarre.

Cry it out method/ Ferber method

Some mummies resort to this method so that they can rest or for their babies to learn to self-sooth themselves. A lot of mothers said that it worked for them but if you write a post on it on social media rest assure another mother will criticize you and tell you to your face that you’re “heartless” or “a bad mom”.

Car seat

A poor mum on one from one mummy app I’m on in an app once told us that she was mum shamed and plain bullied by other mums when she mentioned that she changed her baby’s car seat from rear facing to forward facing before turning one.

 Baby-food: Home made VS store bought

There are really good quality store bought baby foods and if you don’t have a lot of time on your hands to prepare your baby’s meals they are a great alternative.

Some mothers online shamed a first time mum for buying her baby’s food instead of making it!! Are some of these people on social media serious?

Vaccinations

I have never seen people become so aggressive about any other topic online especially mothers. Some strongly believe that vaccinations have negative side effects on babies and choose not to vaccinate.

Funny enough some innocent mothers get shamed online for something completely out of their control, like the size of their bump or child’s weight and of course not loosing those extra pounds after having a baby. Some mummies choose to answer back and defend themselves and some suffer in silence after being bullied online.

I wish we could all be nice to each other; motherhood is hard enough without the extra dose criticism. There is no perfect mum out there; everyone is trying to do their best.

Do you think that some mummies online are simply bullies or just practicing freedom of expression? Have you ever personally faced mum shaming?

Thanks for stopping by

3 Little Buttons
Mummuddlingthrough

26 thoughts on “Dear Internet…Please Stop With The Mummy shaming

  1. Janine says:

    Here here sister! I’m a member of a very large group on Facebook and I have thought about leaving lots of times because of how judgemental some of the mums are on there. And yes I would go as far as to say some of the mums are bullies. You get cliques on these groups where regular posters get to know each other well and they gang up on other mums. Your ok if you’re in the clique but if not your hung, drawn and quartered. The cry it out debate is a huge topic that comes up almost daily and I am bored to tears with it now. Personally I think each to their own. Everyone’s circumstances are different. Every baby is different. What works for one family won’t work for another. You just got to do what’s right for you and yours and it’s as simple as that.

    (UnhingedMummy stopping by from #coolmumclub).

    Liked by 2 people

    • Samsam - Simply A Mama says:

      I’m in a few mummy groups on Facebook myself and I have seen it so many times. I can’t help but feel bad for those innocent mothers who didn’t even see it coming, some of the comments would actually be very mean.
      I guess the cry it out method is a hot mummy topic… lol I honestly feel everyone should just do what they want and feel is right for their family. I personally never exclusively breastfed my little one so when I see a formula feeding mum being mummy shamed I feel as if it is a personal attack on me and my choices as well!! (I don’t know if you know what I mean)
      thanks you so much for commenting Janine xx

      Like

  2. Kirsten Toyne says:

    I tend not to read critical stuff because I believe that we all have to make our own journey as mothers. It can get so heated though as if there is a ‘right’ way to be a mother, which is not true. We need to care for our children. I wrote in my book ‘Anything that demeans or damages our children our or us is not okay.” But beyond that there are so many ways to be a good mother.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. No Manual to Mummy says:

    You know what, love this. I read on a daily basis lots of different types of parenting, some I agree with some I don’t but I don’t make it my business to inform that person how wrong they are or give them my opinion. Parenthood is so controversial at times, and we all do what we think is best and right. We can’t go wrong with that. It’s the same with names too. I think you get judged massively on what you call your child. I’ve just done a post on the matter. Truly believe we should all just respect each others decisions and get along #coolmumclub

    Liked by 1 person

    • Samsam - Simply A Mama says:

      I have to read your post on baby names. I think now more than ever with the era of social media everyone’s parenthood is being judged and strangers are even voicing their opinion on what is a very personal journey.
      I love that there is people like you who respect others decisions.
      Thanks for stopping by lovely xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. shinnersandthebrood says:

    All these examples are bang on! FB is the pits at times. Live and let live. We all make our own choices and they are just that, OUR choices. Love this. #CoolMumClub

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Angela Watling says:

    I haven’t experienced this but I have seen some of those more high profile incidents where mums have taken a bashing (which must have included from some other mums). I think it’s awful and not much different to trolling. Everyone is entitled to their opinion so it’s perfectly fine for someone to say “Interesting post but I’m afraid I don’t agree with blah for blah, blah and blah reasons”. But to attack that individual and say their beliefs are wrong is unacceptable! #CoolMumClub

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Mum in Brum says:

    Well said! I have definitely seen this myself on certain forums – some people are so self-righteous! No two experiences are ever the same when it comes to motherhood, so we should never judge each other. x #coolmumclub

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The Mothership says:

    I follow a large mummy group on Facebook and I find now that half the posts aren’t even baby related! It turns into a huge pissing competition of who’s got the best house, job, husband etc! Everyone slamming each others parenting skills is such a downer! Nobody is perfect. Just roll with the punches that’s what I say! – A good read 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Samsam - Simply A Mama says:

      I’m also a member of many mummy groups on Facebook and sometimes I find it outrageous how some mothers judge one another even though they should understand how tough motherhood can be.
      Thanks for stopping by and commenting; I hope you enjoyed your holidays

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Asbah Alaena says:

    Reminds me of Aesops tale of a couple and donkey! You can never please everyone!

    Ideally i think once you are a mother and have firsthandedly faced the challanges of mommyhood you just stop judging other mothers.
    Realistically everyones judging everyone else. In today’s me-world only “me or I” are correct and perfect and everyone else is flawed!

    My take: i dont judge or shame! Atleast I try my best not to do so!

    I blog at amuslimmama.com

    Like

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