There is a traditional African saying
“ It takes a village to raise a child”
I strongly believe that there is nothing wrong in seeking advice and support from others especially with your first baby. As a first time mother I always seek advice of family and other mothers who have been through this journey before me.
I know the past 9 months I learned so much that I feel I can give a pregnant mother or a mother with a younger baby than mine genuine advice that can help her journey into motherhood.
This is a quiet lengthy blog post 🙂 so grab your cup of tea or coffee and enjoy reading it while your baby is napping.
I asked some lovely mothers living all around the globe for the best advice they could give a pregnant or a new mummy. I received great responses and I hope if you’re expecting a child or a first time mummy and come across this post these advices can help you.
Welcome to the world of motherhood. The greatest experience a woman can ever have. Simple tips
- Take time to breastfeed the baby
- Always ensure you have a very good and trust worthy nanny
- Plan ahead for the child’s future.
- Learn to pay attention especially when he’s still little and can’t express himself through talking.
“To my beloved pregnant mother, this is your first and most people will advice you, you will read books and you will seek guidance. I believe we all have unique experiences; I did not know I was pregnant until my 10th Week! I missed out on what I wonder? What was I supposed to feel in the first 10 weeks? Would it have made a difference? Because for me it was all cramping and I thought I needed a paracetamol to ease my cramps.
I cried when I found out I was pregnant, delighted but also heavy at heart with the responsibility bestowed upon me by Allah. So listen to your body and enjoy the calm, I believe when you are calm you have calm pregnancy, you have calm baby! I had to place ice on my stomach to get a kick from my daughter, she was always sleeping!
My advice is be stress free, enjoy your walks, enjoy the changes you experience take a minute and live in the moment of your pregnancy. Eat healthy and relax, enjoy the ride. It is a fun one.
Once the baby is here, the wisdom given to you by the almighty is remarkable, breastfeeding or pumping, bottled milk or whatever you choose, do not let anyone make you feel any lesser of a mum. Don’t be over protective, little germs help with the immune system, a little fall makes the heart fonder, you get hugs and kisses, you get to calm them down and be the superhero.
Don’t stress the small stuff, fevers come and go, I take advantage of those down times to bond in love time! Don’t panic and always look at your experiences and take the best of all you know and make them better for you and your beloved.”
- I would tell her to breastfeed in any amount
- To remember that it’s her baby and she knows what’s best
- To not worry about how others are raising their children
- To give the most love and support to your child
- Every child is different and grows at different pace; never compare your baby to other people’s kids. So long as they’re healthy and happy that’s all that matters.
- To pregnant ladies: involve your husband from the 1st Take him with you to all your appointments. It’s very important he gets on board now and he learns so many things eg. Remind you of what the doctor tells you to do or eat. Later when the baby comes it will be easy for him to transition to fatherhood and get involved so much.
Maryama works at a clinic and says the reason behind her advice to pregnant women is “I have seen many guys waiting at the lobby or dropping her off and taking off. Later you will see the mom is the only one struggling with the child and his stuff. Be it doctor’s appointment or school because she did it from day one all by herself. It takes two to bring a baby into this world and so there should be two raising”Abaya-Kay’s advice
- First baby you feel like you’re going crazy, specially not having enough sleep (no one tells you this) but it will get better.
- Make sure the father helps you and try to go out.
- Breastfeeding is tough but remember that is the best thing you can do for your baby.
“Breastfeeding is challenging and I don’t think we get enough prep on it and how challenging it is. Seek out lots of support and remember that it does get better.”Idil’s advice
“Know that there is a lot of learning that takes place with your body with the first pregnancy; so always listen to your body with pregnancy and while breastfeeding.”
“Don’t feel like you’re not good enough. Everyone was a first time parent at one point. Know that you are doing the best you can.”
“Read to tour children one hadith and one ayah from the Quran everyday, that will build a beautiful character for them.”
- Enjoy the time with your new baby because they grow up very fast
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need
- Whether you choose to breastfeed/formula feed/ cosleep etc. know that there is nothing like “perfect parenting”
“Just remember get plenty of rest you and the baby. Everything else can wait.”
- Breastfeeding is worth it! Read for yourself! Don’t be pressured to give formula, your milk is enough!
- Don’t sweat the small stuff
- Enjoy parenting with your spouse
- Everyone and their mama will try to advise you. Say thank you and move on. Don’t get offended, most people mean well even if they have unwarranted advice.
- Make lots of dua for protection for your child. I found this time to be the time I trusted Allah the most and with complete tawakal and sincerity.
Don’t feel guilty about the choices you make for your baby if they don’t go as you wanted/planned, at least you will gain experience from it.
Know that parenting is a forever school; you will learn new thing everyday
Finally, put your trust in God and be thankful for the blessings.
“My best advice would be to accept now that you will never sleep through the night ever again, because even when your kids get older and do, you still obsessively get up to check on them just in case.”
* Tasha Giacometto is a mummy blogger who blogs about cooking, crafting and all things mummy related. Check out her blog Try All Mama
“The best advice I could give is to believe in yourself. Many people are going to try to tell you how you should be doing something, but you will know your baby and their needs, better than anyone else and just trust in that.”
*Tracy Morgan is an English expat living in Sweden and she is blogger. Check out her blog for loads for new recipes The Culinary Jumble
“ My best advice as an Scottish expat in Finland would be just to know I’m an expat too. If she ever feels down it’s ok and I’m there for her if she needs a friend to talk to”
*Gill Jacob is a fellow blogger. Visit her blog for movie, books and TV reviews Realweegiemidget Reviews
“My absolute best advice is don’t be too hard on yourself. It is super easy to compare yourself to others or think you aren’t doing enough. Cut yourself a break and know you are super awesome! Don’t be afraid to accept a little help”
*Leanne is a blogger; her blog is dedicated to faith, family and fun.
For projects and recipes and much more check out her blog Smiles and Sundays
- Don’t be so hard on yourself.
- Take advice as it comes, but follow your instincts in making right choices for your baby & your family.
Maria E is a blogger who shares reviews and personal experiences on blog Legomars
“I would tell any new mommy to just relax”
Renee Starms is a blogger. She has a post dedicated to new mothers on her blog you can read more here: Renee Starms
I’m sure that every mom knows some of the basics about taking care of themselves and their pregnancy. Here are some advices I would give to a pregnant and a new mom based on my experience.
- Food for pregnant mom
- The nutritional needs of pregnant women are very decisive. We need to eat variety of foods to fulfill it . We should eat folate-rich foods because folic acid is very important for pregnancy. It is not only crucial for the proper development of the baby’s neural tube but also vital for the creation of new red blood cells. Folate-rich foods such as asparagus, cereals, oranges, lentils, wheat, etc.
- Do not drink caffeine too much during pregnancy; most doctors say that it has harmful effects on pregnant woman and also the baby.
- Eat fish! It is high in omega 3s. It has a nutrient critical to baby brain development. Pregnant mums can eat tuna, shrimp, salmon, Pollock or catfish. However some fish such as shark, swordfish, tilefish, or king mackerel, are high in mercury, which is very dangerous during pregnancy.
- I have had morning sickness during my first trimester, fruits (such apple and banana) were my favourite for breakfast, it has the natural sugars, which can help lift your energy levels.
- Here are a few foods to avoid that I know: raw or undercooked meat, fish, or eggs, unpasteurized cheese, and raw sprouts. We need to avoid this in order to reduce the risk of illness, cooking the food of course can kill the bacteria.
- Physical hygiene during pregnancy
Pregnant and lactating mothers should pay attention to their cleanliness of the body. Physical hygiene during pregnancy is very vital. If you live in a tropical country like myself, you should take a bath once or twice a day to keep your body and skin clean and healthy. Remember! The nipples need special attention.
- Keep a healthy pregnancy
When I was pregnant I was staying active. Regular exercise will help pregnant mom control her weight, it is good to improve the body circulation, and help to sleep better. I suggest you have some fun activities or exercise such swimming, walking, or pilates and yoga. Remember don’t overdo the exercise. You also can do the consultation with your doctor before doing any exercise program.
Fauzia (Zia) is a friend and fellow blogger from Indonesia who has been blogging for 10 years, she’s a mummy of a little boy as well. Zia’s blogs are Zeelhouette & an Indonesian blog Ruang Baca & Tulis Check out her post, I promise you will find them informative and helpful.
I want to thank all the incredible mothers for taking the time to share their great advice. I hope new mummies will find this post extremely helpful in their journey through motherhood. In case you missed my advice to all new and expectant mummies check out this post: Advice to all the new mummies from a first time mum
If you are a mother what advice would you offer a new mother embarking motherhood for the first time?
Thanks for stopping by
I used the first names of some of the mothers who contributed in this post and I didn’t mention their location to respect their online privacy. However, their locations include North America, Zimbabwe, Kenya, Australia, Indonesia and various parts of Europe.
All the illustrations are by Anna Lewis from Sketchy Muma